My nephew Marc is getting married today to his childhood sweetheart Kara.  I don’t know much about my middle brother’s youngest son except for the stories shared by his dad and the few times we’ve interacted at his college football games or family visits.  I moved away from Northern California to Boston when he was just 3 years old and additional moves to Long Beach and Portland resulted in but a few times to connect.  In fact, I can’t think of a time when it was just the two of us hanging out without another family member around.  Today, will likely be no different because you’re going to be surrounded by family and friends and rightfully celebrating with your new bride.  So, I thought I’d dedicate this blog post to you and provide some unsolicited marriage advice from your well-meaning Uncle.

No truer words were ever written than, “Happy wife, happy life.”  Take time with Kara.  Listen to her.  Pay attention.  Giving in to her wants and needs is not being “pussy whipped” as many of your macho friends might say.  The love and support you gain will return to you double.  I know from experience how miserable things can become for you if you don’t make Kara your priority.  In the end, all anyone really wants is to be made to feel special.  I sometimes need to take my own advice here so that’s one of the biggest reasons I’m sharing this with you.

Be tough during the tough times.  There will be tough times.  They may not be there now but one day they will come.  There are no such things as fairy tales.  I’m not wishing anything bad for you, of course, rather struggle is a part of everyone’s life and you should be prepared for it.  Rather, my point is how you deal with strife will make or break your marriage.  Every decision you make from this day forward will have a direct impact on both of your lives.  Be a “be there” husband.  It’s during these times of difficulty which you can really make a difference and deepen your love for one another.

I really have no business offering advice about being a parent except this.  You don’t have to have kids.  You both may want them and have them and that’s fine.  But, if you aren’t both fully committed to raising a family it’s OK that you don’t.  My dear wife and I made a conscious choice and sure there are times when we have wished things worked out differently but, in the end, we made the right choice for us.  And really that’s the best advice I can give you, Nephew, make the right choice for YOU and KARA.  No one else but you two.

Save for a rainy day.  You’ll be surprised one day to find yourself nearing retirement like me and you will want to face that day with a strong financial portfolio.  You’ll want to spend your retirement years in a beautiful place like here in Hawaii without concern about money.  Invest wisely and save, and spend your golden years in luxury and not on the street holding up a sign that says, “Will work for food.”

Take care of your health and your wife’s health.  Once you lose your physical condition you pretty much lose everything.  Eat right, drink in moderation, take care of your body.  Get regular dental and medical check ups. Your dear, old, Uncle, follows mostly this advice but knows he can do better here as well.  Just know this, you’ll want to live a long life and enjoy all that this life has to offer but you have to be in shape and you need to have a few bucks saved up.  See previous paragraph.

I’m getting close to getting off my soapbox, kid.  Know this, I love you and Kara.  I wish you the kind of happiness and love and health and wealth your Auntie and I have and more.  I’m very proud of you and know you’ll carry on the Baker tradition of living life to its fullest.  Smile.  Laugh.  Love.  Enjoy this day and make your marriage a lifetime of memories.

Love, Uncle C