Dear Reader, at the beginning of the year, you read my 25 Resolutions and at the end of January you read an update on how I was doing.  As we close in on the last 2 weeks of the year, you deserve to know what I accomplished in 2014.  Here goes.

Shockingly, I’m not going to win the Nobel Prize in Literature.  Though, technically I’m still in the running.

This year, my chances to become the starting 2nd baseman for the San Francisco Giants were pretty good.  They had started 11 different men at 2nd base this year.  I was waiting for my phone to ring and then along comes Joe Panik.  Jesus Christ, this guy’s the best ballplayer they’ve had at 2nd since Robby Thompson.  It looks like I’m screwed for the next 10-15 years.

The only reason I’m not going to receive an Academy Award for Best Screenplay is because I didn’t write a screenplay.  Screw you  Academy!

I didn’t get to save someone from dying.  That was probably a good thing.

I didn’t change the tire of a complete stranger but it wasn’t due to lack of trying.  Damn AAA Road Side Service beat me every time.  Bastards!

Nursing a wounded animal back to health is harder than it looks and, for your information, the wounds on my arms from the rabid raccoon I discovered in the backyard have finally healed.

OK, here’s something I can proudly state.  I learned Italian.  I’m not fluent, mind you, but I got myself and Bon by for a month when we were in Italy during July.

I also toured Italy for 5 weeks with my dear wife.  It was the greatest vacation of our lives.

Oh, how I wish I hit the baseball hard every at bat.  This year was particularly gruesome at the plate for me but my team won the 35 and older league in Portland and I made a contribution.  I missed 4 games this year because of my travels but that’s no excuse.  I will be better in 2015.

In the field, I made the routine play 100% of the time and the spectacular play most of the time.  Oh heck, I made some errors but I’m still going to count this one as a win.

Oh, I read the PEN/O. Henry Prize Stories for 2013.  I read the shit out of them.  All 20 stories inspired me to write.

Yeah, I played basketball at NIKE with some of my work colleagues.  Yeah, I broke the full court press.  I also got dunked on.

I didn’t get my 1st hole-in-one and I didn’t buy drinks all around.

I exercised 5 times a week, sometimes more.  My body stay vicious.  I be up in the gym just working on my fitness.

I drank red wine 7 times a week, sometimes a day.

I cooked something new every Sunday night.

I lived to eat.

I ate to live.

I didn’t win the Lottery.

I didn’t free all animals in shelters.  I will if I win the Lottery.

I fight racism.  I’m just sad I still have to.

I help those in need.  Always.

I didn’t get a standing ovation at Karaoke but then again it’s only because I didn’t go this year.

I went to Mass on Easter and will go on Christmas Eve to beg forgiveness for all my sins.  This one is a must.

I watched or played sports every single day in 2014.  Sports are in my DNA.

Final tally – 13 out of 25.  This was a great year.  I expect 2015 will be even better.  Keep checking out this blog and telling me what you think of my writing.  After all, I’m writing this blog for you.

Ciao.