Friend, you know how much I loath President Pinocchio. Yet another group of Americans suffering from his inept leadership is farmers. According to an article in the Wall Street Journal, “in 2018 farmers lost $9.1 billion and total farm debt rose to $410 billion, the highest in nearly 40 years!” USA Today stated in a recent story, “Trump’s trade war will put farmers further underwater.” No one wins a trade war. And, so I realized rather quickly that I better get cracking with my own garden before there ain’t no more farmers left to grow food for me.

So, last weekend, I planted my summer garden. Tomatoes, Basil, Shishito Peppers, Zucchini, Cucumber, and Marigold plants entered the earth I toiled in the 3 new planter boxes on the North side of my backyard. The newly installed sprinkler system works to perfection, so that task is automated. Now, the worst part. The waiting. It seems forever at this stage of the process until what you plant literally bears fruit. Do our farmers get this anxious?

It’s a cliche to say there’s nothing better to eat than a fresh tomato but it’s true. The plants are relatively easy to grow as long as you have good soil, plenty of water, and sun. Tomatoes crave sunlight and these plants are going to get it. I’m growing Beefsteak and Roma. Two of my favorites. We’ll be swimming in tomatoes before you know it. Unlike everything these days, there is no instant gratification. Instead of checking in on my plants every night I come home from work, I should just let nature take its course and check back in two months. Kind of like the farmers who trusted President Tweet, only they’re the pawns in his trade negotiations with China.

After visiting Italy for the first time in 2014, we refell in love with Pesto. That summer, when we visited Cinque Terre we couldn’t help but notice all of the Basil plants growing on window sills of the homes of Corniglia. These local farmers have nothing to worry about from their political leadership. They’re growing it for themselves.

One of the beautiful things about YouTube is you can learn how to do just about anything. I didn’t know how to make pesto. So, I took a quick online course on what it took to make this delectable green sauce. So easy to make! With only Basil, Pine Nuts, Garlic, Parmigiano, and Olive Oil as ingredients and a blender, even a knucklehead like me can make it. Oh, and last summer, I did. This year, however, I’ve got 3 more plants than last year. We’ll be making the shit out of pesto before long. The greatest thing about basil, is if you pinch off the leaves, they grow back! Heck, my lack of patience loves this plant. I won’t have to wait 60 days before enjoying it. So far, our famers have been waiting 2 years. How long will they have to wait until markets are open again?

Our friend Linda introduced us to Shishito peppers, according to Wikipedia, a sweet, East Asian variety. I’ve never grown these before but I’m looking forward to yielding a bumper crop. The little peppers are delicious to eat. Saute them in olive oil, a little salt and pepper and they’re the perfect appetizer. Not filling but delectable and healthy! These little 3″-5″ buggers aren’t spicy and shouldn’t take too long before I can harvest them. It should be fun. All our farmers want is trade with foreign markets. Thanks to the trade war, all their harvest is doing is rotting.

It’s probably been 30 years since I last tried to grow zucchini or cucumbers in a garden. They take up too much space and are really hard to grow but, heck, we love ’em and I had to give it the old college try again. I dedicated one bed to these 2 plants which should be plenty of room for them to grow and flourish. Only time will tell but it’s so hard to wait. Just ask our Farmers.

I check for even the smallest amount of growth and proudly report out to Bon and Margarita when something blooms. I take care of these plants almost as if they’re my little babies and I bark at the dog if he even looks at the vegetables funny. Last year, he bit off the buds of every marigold and I nearly killed him. I think his maturity level is better this year and he’ll stay away from Papa’s plants. At least he’s not up in the bed urinating like the Tweeter is to our trading partners.

The funny thing about gardening is when I forget about it for a few days, a week maybe, voila the plants seem to explode and we have enough goodies to feed the whole neighborhood. I think every kid should learn how to grow plants. There’s not a more useful skill, in my view, than to learn how to be a farmer. Heck, we all got to eat. Why not learn how to grow food? It’s a better life skill than Tweet Storms, just ask our President.

Besides, if President Tweet continues his fruitless negotiations with China, we may not have any farmers left at all. In his mind, you can rely on no one but yourself.