With newly released evidence Bill Cosby has admitted and defended his extra marital affairs, I can’t help but ask the question, where are all of our heroes?

Yes, I looked up to Bill. His stand up comedy without the use of 4-letter words was hilarious and admirable at a time when Richard Pryor’s use of the f-bomb was the norm.  Mr. Cosby could be funny without swearing.  That takes a lot of skill and a command of what makes people laugh. The characters he played on TV were fatherly, sympathetic, heroic and wise. As the truth comes out about him and his pathetic chase for younger women, sadly, once again, we were duped.  Mr. Cosby didn’t live up to his seemingly flawless reputation.

This isn’t the first time a man I’ve looked up to has let me down. My own father disappointed me when he left my mom on the day after Christmas when I was a Senior in high school.  There have been so many others who I have admired until they’ve fallen spectacularly from grace:  O.J. Simpson, Kirby Puckett, Pete Rose, Tiger Woods, Mike Tyson, Lance Armstrong, Steve McNair.  To name but a few.

What is it about being an honest, upstanding, person that has become so difficult? Maybe this ideal never existed but in the minds of Hollywood scriptwriters and innocent, hopeful, young boys like me. Perhaps, knowing the sordid details of our imperfect role models wasn’t so prevalent for generations past because there didn’t exist the advent of the Freedom of Information Act, the Internet, or social media.  Maybe it was swept under the rug as a sign of respect by the media to keep these imperfect men’s reputations intact.  Not any more.  You can’t even flatulate in public without someone tweeting about it.

If you believe everything you read on your smartphone, it’s not cool or popular to be a good guy. Good guys finish last. Women fall in love with bad boys, not good ones. Is the temptation of being a dickhead just too compelling?  Certainly, no one wants to read a feel good story about a guy who loves his wife and volunteers and loves his fellow man and tries to set a good example.  What the hell?

I don’t know what it is. I don’t mean in the slightest to say I’m perfect. I’m not. I’m sure I’ve disappointed someone who may have looked up to me.  Yet, I do find it interesting this phenomenon of the people who we most trust and look up to – our parents, our priests, our entertainers, our athletes, our politicians, our coaches, our teachers, our brothers – continue to lead us down a path of disappointment. Yes, of course, I know we are all human. I know not every mentor is bent on self destruction and embarrassment.  Still, what, or more appropriately who, constitutes a hero today?

Is it a soldier who dies for a noble cause like a Pat Tillman?

Is it the men who try to do the right thing only to be ostracized for being too good?

Is it the ultra religious?

Is it our most successful athletes?  Our politicians?  Our transgender population?  Our parents?  Our teachers?

Who?

As Michael Jackson said, “It all starts with the man in the mirror.”  So, I guess I should look no further and be that change.