Oh, this title is sure to get all my female friends and fans in a tizzy. I only urge you to hang on and wait for the finish. This isn’t a post all about me but it does start out that way. Please wait for the backhanded compliment.

I’m a baseball player. Of course, I throw a ball in a manly way. I’ve been doing it since I was at least 5 years old, if not longer, according to the photographic evidence kept by my mother since my birth. The Polaroid picture is proof in case you were wondering.

When it comes to working out, I’m not nearly as studly as many of the women I know and that includes my wife. I remember telling my beloved that the NIKE Training Club workouts were going to be too tough for her and that I didn’t think she could make it through the 60 minutes of burpees, shoulder presses, stomach crunches and wind sprints. Hah! She not only made it, she routinely kicks my ass in the class.

Oh, we men are physically stronger (we think) than women, but that isn’t always true. I know a woman, “JD” I’ll call her, who runs faster than I do and lifts dumbbells 5 lbs heavier than I do. She’s not the only one.  Explain to me again why women are called the ‘weaker’ sex?

I’ve made this point before that women are smarter than guys, live longer, and are able to withstand more pain then men. They’re not a sex to trifle with. So, my new goal in life is to workout like a woman.

So, how does a woman work out?

They do not fuck around. They wear clean and sexy clothes. They are incredibly disciplined and when they’re at the gym they go all out. This is exactly where I need to be.

When I’m working out, I’m cracking jokes, I’m schmoozing with the ladies, I’m doing everything BUT working out. I seriously need a crack in the ribs from my wife or a female trainer to get going. Most women I know hardly crack a smile at the gym. They’re there to tone their bodies and beat your ass into a pulp.

I usually wear my workout clothes 3 times before washing it. Women athletes would never do this. If you stood next to me, my gym clothes would make your eyes water. Hell, so would the inside of my car!  I am impervious to the odor, perhaps because I am a man, perhaps I’m just not that into what I wear to work out. My gym shorts are at least 10 years old and about the sexiest thing about them is one of my balls from time to time flips out. You never, ever, see a woman wearing old workout gear. Their clothes are fashionable, cute, colorful and mean business. She’s there to workout, not pick up men, and I’ve never seen a boob flop out.

My discipline leaves a lot to be desired. I find excuses not to work out like the time I had to pay the bills or play online poker or work in a rest day. Man, I have more excuses than the desert has sand.  Most women I know just do not miss a workout. Maybe it’s that they care more about their bodies than men or maybe it’s simply the competition of looking better than their friends. Who knows? All I see is women who work out are at it every day and they are not afraid to sweat and they don’t make excuses. I love the focus!

Oh, I love it so much I want to emulate it. So, from now on, I’m proudly going to work out like a woman. So, if you see me at the gym or on a running trail, say hello, I may not smile, I may not even respond. Sorry, you won’t get to see any more random testicle flashes but that’s only because of my cute, new, shorts.