Our story begins about 6 or 7 years ago when the sighting of the White Flash was first reported.  Wild eyed observers explain being blinded for about an hour by a light whiter than fresh milk.  The piercing vision, appearing only on the 3rd Friday and Saturday in August, shone brightly exactly 3 times within a 28-hour period.  The only evidence of it’s presence, a trail of road kill.

Today, the practice of “whiteflashgazing” includes gazing at the light for nourishment or as a spiritual practice.  Proponents of whiteflashgazing claim increased energy levels and decreased appetite.  Whiteflashgazing is also an alternative therapy to improve eyesight, increase testosterone and cure erectile dysfunction.

The White Flash has earned his reputation through the odor of his musk.  The repugnant odor lingers for days and can be nauseating.  Women report a strong, Honey Bucket-like odor.   While men afraid of getting called out (he who smelt it, dealt it) often question if there’s a sulphur plant nearby.

People detect a very wide range of White Flash sounds, from whooping to whooping cough.  From hoot to howl, whine to whistle, slap to slurp.

No one has ever tasted the White Flash but witnesses report a Halibut taste in their mouths.

The White Flash cannot be touched as evidenced by the numerous dead animals who cross his path and cry out to their van mates for help as this incredible foul-smelling, loud, dead fish passes them by.

#HTC13