Men’s Protective Cup

I’d like to dispel the myth that baseball players have the ichiest balls. Baseball players balls are no more itchy than football, basketball, or hockey players. While the sudden urge to check your pack is often captured on the television screen, baseball players are not THAT itchy.

The sudden impact of horsehide into the testicles is quite painful and not nearly as pleasant as other touches of the gonads. Baseball players wear protective cups underneath their uniforms to prevent this remarkable pain.

The protective cup technology has remained relatively unchanged since the invention of hard plastic. Male members come in all shapes and sizes and yet the cup does not. One size does not fit all. This non-custom hard shell cover, creates an ill fitting void or surplus (i.e., a cup and half of junk in a one cup bag) that necessitates frequent readjustment. I repeat…this is NOT an itch, it’s a readjustment. To protect the family jewels, one must readjust…often.

As one who has been on the receiving end of a sudden impact to the nuts, it’s more painful than a poke in the eye. I’ve seen grown men tear up, writhing, yelling for their mommies and holding on with both hands like their nut sack is about to fall off. The protective cup has but one purpose: to prevent unnatural groin pain and swelling akin to elephantitis. And wearing one is about as comfortable as your Aunt asking you to slow dance at your sister’s wedding.

Baseball is a simple game. You throw the ball. You hit the ball. You catch the ball. Ballplayers do not like to get a hit in the balls. We are not the most prolific ball scratchers. We are readjusters of the plastic shield in front of our manhood.